I've been dealing with different people in my life, be it at work, association, societies, courses, friends or family. No matter who are they, each and every person has various beliefs, attitudes and behaviours. People tend to react to a person or situation differently. I realise that there are no hard and fast rules to build a relationship, but I do want to share my experience while building a relationship with people that I don't know them for a long time. I find it to be quite practical and useful. (Note: There are many ways to build or improve a relationship but I only want to share on a simple learning of mine)
Building relationship is about understanding the person rather than making them to understand ourselves. If we are expecting them to be opened to us, the key is to be opened to them first. Reaching out to the person rather than being static. In the past, I used to express myself first to the person that I am reaching to. I was wrong to think that to allow people to understand about me first will help to build a great relationship. Sadly, the truth is some people may/may not be interested to my details. Hence, instead of talking more about myself, the effective way is to be interested on them and actively listen to the their expression.
Establishing a relationship requires one to build confidence with the person. Confidence works together with time. To build relationship, spending time with the person plays an important role to success. Spending quality moment happens only when we spend our effort and time to listen to them, rather than telling them what we want. To get to know their concerns and needs help to increase their confidence on us and lowering their guards against us.
Always remember that we have nothing to lose while listening to them as we are actually increasing their trust on us. It is important to be mindful that listening to them does not make the situation out of control. Some people may be paranoid because of the person is not listening and talks a lot. When the person you are dealing with talks a lot to you, it shows that they are OK to have a conversation with you. Start to show your interest on them. This will get the relationships to build quicker. IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THEM, NOT US.
So, start to focus out and listening actively on the person that you want to build a relationship with him/her rather than expecting them to get interested on you. Get to know what they want and create the value that means a lot to them. People may or may not be interested on us but they always want people to be genuinely interested on them. Once we have given what they want, we will get what we want.
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